On Love, In Sadness

hahahahaha ok i'll admit, i'm just making new blog posts now because i like the idea of naming them after songs!
Blogging, it seems, is quite fun. I always try to keep my number of tweets low, because i never want to be "one of those people who tweets all the time", but really, what's the difference? who cares how many times i tweet? seriously.
sigh, i just wish i was in a mood to smile and play some energetic music and jump around my house to Fever by Adam Lambert, like i did towards the end of last ter. granted, the term isn't over yet, but still. i wish i was happier. maybe my happiness last term was determined by certain activities that went on. sigh...
or maybe it was simply because last term i was going home in two days, and now i'm going home in 22 days. yes, that will be it!
also, i'm a little worried about exams! i don't know what to study for enviro's, i really don't. i have a terrible feeling about those two papers.

maybe two is better than one?

i hate commenting on people's facebook statuses, because i get hundreds of notifications when others do tha same, and everytime i see that little red bubble i think someone has interacted with me. it's so annoying :( especially right after i post a status that i think i might get a response from. :(
my gtalk status is on sad as well.
it's just one of those days, i guess. or maybe it's just that i'm trying to fool people into initiating conversation with me again. well, they should speak to me because they want to, not because they're nosy to find out why my status is a little frowning face.

"there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life, and you've already got me coming undone"

i just need you now

"and i wonder if i ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time"-lady antebellum

i'll admit that the only reason i named this post that is because i'm listening to that song at the moment. no relevance to my life, none at all...

i am lonely. i have no one to talk to. sometimes i think that i should just start talking to myself, but then i remember that talking to one's self is the first sign of madness. i just remembered something funny! back in the day when i was having driving lessons, larry once told me to talk to myself when parking so that i would remember the sequence of poles. i replied "talking to yourself is the first sign of madness." i doubt that i ever impressed him with my clever little comments.
on the topic of madness, to quote a very wise fictional man "crazy people don't know they're going crazy, they think they're getting saner". yep, john locke, i believe the episode was called "the white rabbit"

"guess i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all..."

yeah, about this...

i have no idea where i'm going with this blog, i'm just going. and i should be using my google chrome browser so that it can spell check for me. and my grammar is going to be terrible, but who cares? i don't.
i really think that living alone is a bit unhealthy. it's so quite. there are days when i literally don't see or talk to another living person. it's unhealthy. but what am i supposed to do? i can't visit friends all the time, they get over it. then they'll start telling people that they wish i would stay out of their houses. i also can't exactly phone home everytime i want to talk crap, i mean, i would spend my life savings on airtime. so here i sit, typing away at my little computer. i really should probably start studying for exams, but technically i have started, and i do have enough time, i even worked out a study schedule, and i have enough days for everything.
you know what the really annoying thing is? it's that i complained for a year that i was bored at home, and now i'm even more bored here. all other issues aside, i'm just plain bored. i cannot spend 16 hours a day studying and 8 hours sleeping, i will go crazy. and on the topic of studying, i have no motivation whatsoever. none at all. but i'm doing fine, my marks for zoo are ok and my marks for micro are actually really good. i'm happy wiht myself.
and i do like being here, i love my friends and everything, and i like being independent, i am just lonely.
now that i'm finished ranting (for tonight) i will finish listening to this song (to the moon and back by savage garden) and then i'm going to sleep.

...and now?

so i figure i need one of three things...either a digsmate, a boyfriend, or a blog. and i chose the latter, it is just so much easier and less time consuming.

hold on, to be continued...