Bigger Than Us

Two young people from my university were killed in a car crash last night. Whether or not I knew them is irrelevant- I didn't- but it is a tragedy anyway.

Last year, two of my friends and I decide that we were bored on Friday night. Off we went, to the beach, an hour's drive away, along twisty, turny roads in the dead of night. That seems to be exactly what these kids did. Scary much?

It happens to be exam time at the moment. In the science faculty, as well as other faculties, I'm certain, all one hears is "I need to be first in class", "I have to know everything", "I have to get over 80%", or "my life is over if I fail". Now everyone, get a little perspective in your lives, please! It's harsh, but it has to be said. What if it was you in that car? Your best friend? Then would your exams really matter anymore? I have tried to explain so many times that there is more to life than academics. These kids were also in the middle of exams, but does that matter now? No, it most certainly does not. No second chances for them. So next time you're sitting in your exam hall, freaking out because you don't know the answer to the first question, stop, breathe, think of all of those people who have it worse than you.

'headlights on the hillside, don't take me this way..."

I'm Only Human After All

Science sucks. No really, it does. And I don't mean high school science, I mean science at third year university level. This is science to such a degree that I can recite entire paragraphs that sounds like they are written in a different language. When writing about how G1-Cdk phosphorylates pRb so that it is unable to bind to E2F and thus E2F is able to phosphorylate other proteins with the help of cyclin D, it is all I can do not to pack up laughing. I mean, it's so difficult that it almost has comedic value. Almost, but not quite.

Don't get me wrong, I'm fascinated by cellular functions on a molecular level, and everything, but sometimes I wonder why I'm putting myself through the pure hell that is a Bachelor of Science. when all I want to do when I'm Grown Up is to work in the music industry. Writing, producing, promoting, I don't really care what I'm doing, it's the industry in general that attracts me. I know I'm not going to be the next Taylor Swift, but I wouldn't say no to that either...

And if you bump into the devil, him him I understand, rather the devil you know than the devil you don't...

Chasing Stars

This blog is complete and utter rubbish, written when i was bored/annoyed. my writing style was that of a two-year old. read my cool blog instead: http://tochasethestars.blogspot.com

do it :)

Must Get Out

i have g-town cabin fever! i get like this whenever i write exams! i start to go absolutely crazy! i really really need to get out of this town, i've been here 5 weeks, and it's just not healthy for me.

in first year, i was here for 6 weeks in the first term, but that was ok, everything was new. in the second term, i went home for a weekend after 4 weeks, then my grandparents came here for a week after another 4 weeks. third term, i was here for 5 weeks, then mom came to visit. fourth term, i was here for about 5 weeks then i went home for swot week. so needless to say, this is driving me insane.

This city's made us crazy, and we must get out!

Maybe I'm Dreaming

now i have a dilemma...to go, or not to go? quite obviously i can't go without moral support! imagine how awkward that would be! anyway i'm exhausted and falling asleep right here on my couch, right now.
i don't know why (could be exhaustion), but i just had a Heroes flash in my head, that scene where Linderman shoots DL and nikki is sitting with him saying "you could have let it phase right through you". i think it's related to my feelings of how i wish life were simpler. life was so easy back in the days when i used to watch Heroes, it's nostalgia for those times, and not for the actual show. obviously, because the show is still going strong, there is a season and i half that i haven't even watched yet, and if i felt the urge i could download it and watch it right now. i could even download season 1 and watch this very nikki-dl-linderman episode. but i think i got a bit off topic here.
i had the oddest dream last night, i was wandering around the most beautiful forest, taking pictures. my family was there, and there were tigers in cages all around. i looked up the meaning of dreams about forests, and they're supposedly to do with wanting life to be simpler. not that i believe in stuff like that, but it's just interesting to see people's interpretations. i guess it could also simply be the fact that i'm going on holiday soon to a place where the chalets are supposedly in the trees. yeah, that'll be it.

Get me out of this cavern or i'll cave in
(different song, i know, but whatever)

The Only Exception

Really? no, it's just that blogging is becoming an obsession for me.
it's a good way for me to say the things that i can't say to people. at least i'm getting them out of my system so that they don't take up valuable brain-space that could be used for REMEMBERING MY ENVIROS!!! and i really, really need to get a good mark for enviro's. the others, i don't really care about. plus, i worked out that i could get 38% for my micro exams and still pass the semester. that's why i don't care.

(oooh, on anther, completely unrelated note, the killers auctioned off their big K :( at least it was for charity! but still!)

None of it was ever worth the risk...

Awake and Alive

can everybody just calm the eff down???
seriously!
i have been told several times today that if i even knock on people's doors i will be chucked out. relax guys! i know third year exams are a big deal, but really. there is such a thing as too much studying and stressing is just not good for your health at all. i feel giulty for studying so much less than most people. the thing is, i feel like i know my work. i also know myself very well, and i know how i get during exams.
at least i got a welcome distraction in the form of a cake break in the middle of the afternoon. just what i needed...or was it? we all know what lady antebellum says.

I'll do what I want, cause this is my life!

On Love, In Sadness

hahahahaha ok i'll admit, i'm just making new blog posts now because i like the idea of naming them after songs!
Blogging, it seems, is quite fun. I always try to keep my number of tweets low, because i never want to be "one of those people who tweets all the time", but really, what's the difference? who cares how many times i tweet? seriously.
sigh, i just wish i was in a mood to smile and play some energetic music and jump around my house to Fever by Adam Lambert, like i did towards the end of last ter. granted, the term isn't over yet, but still. i wish i was happier. maybe my happiness last term was determined by certain activities that went on. sigh...
or maybe it was simply because last term i was going home in two days, and now i'm going home in 22 days. yes, that will be it!
also, i'm a little worried about exams! i don't know what to study for enviro's, i really don't. i have a terrible feeling about those two papers.

maybe two is better than one?

i hate commenting on people's facebook statuses, because i get hundreds of notifications when others do tha same, and everytime i see that little red bubble i think someone has interacted with me. it's so annoying :( especially right after i post a status that i think i might get a response from. :(
my gtalk status is on sad as well.
it's just one of those days, i guess. or maybe it's just that i'm trying to fool people into initiating conversation with me again. well, they should speak to me because they want to, not because they're nosy to find out why my status is a little frowning face.

"there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life, and you've already got me coming undone"

i just need you now

"and i wonder if i ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time"-lady antebellum

i'll admit that the only reason i named this post that is because i'm listening to that song at the moment. no relevance to my life, none at all...

i am lonely. i have no one to talk to. sometimes i think that i should just start talking to myself, but then i remember that talking to one's self is the first sign of madness. i just remembered something funny! back in the day when i was having driving lessons, larry once told me to talk to myself when parking so that i would remember the sequence of poles. i replied "talking to yourself is the first sign of madness." i doubt that i ever impressed him with my clever little comments.
on the topic of madness, to quote a very wise fictional man "crazy people don't know they're going crazy, they think they're getting saner". yep, john locke, i believe the episode was called "the white rabbit"

"guess i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all..."

yeah, about this...

i have no idea where i'm going with this blog, i'm just going. and i should be using my google chrome browser so that it can spell check for me. and my grammar is going to be terrible, but who cares? i don't.
i really think that living alone is a bit unhealthy. it's so quite. there are days when i literally don't see or talk to another living person. it's unhealthy. but what am i supposed to do? i can't visit friends all the time, they get over it. then they'll start telling people that they wish i would stay out of their houses. i also can't exactly phone home everytime i want to talk crap, i mean, i would spend my life savings on airtime. so here i sit, typing away at my little computer. i really should probably start studying for exams, but technically i have started, and i do have enough time, i even worked out a study schedule, and i have enough days for everything.
you know what the really annoying thing is? it's that i complained for a year that i was bored at home, and now i'm even more bored here. all other issues aside, i'm just plain bored. i cannot spend 16 hours a day studying and 8 hours sleeping, i will go crazy. and on the topic of studying, i have no motivation whatsoever. none at all. but i'm doing fine, my marks for zoo are ok and my marks for micro are actually really good. i'm happy wiht myself.
and i do like being here, i love my friends and everything, and i like being independent, i am just lonely.
now that i'm finished ranting (for tonight) i will finish listening to this song (to the moon and back by savage garden) and then i'm going to sleep.

...and now?

so i figure i need one of three things...either a digsmate, a boyfriend, or a blog. and i chose the latter, it is just so much easier and less time consuming.

hold on, to be continued...

The Beginning

Blogging. Seems like the perfect way to express my long-suppressed creativity, so why has it taken me so long to decide to create a blog? Well, quite simply, I’m a lazy kid. I have tried, countless times to keep a diary, or to finish writing a story, but I just seem to have a terribly short attention span. But perhaps blogging is the way to go. But what to blog about? I ask myself. What are my interests? What do I have to say that others could consider to be interesting? This is the part where I fall on the floor in spasms of horror. What if I’m a boring person? What if I have nothing to say that anyone would like to read about? Then I recover myself. Of course I’m not boring. Anyone who thinks I am must be crazy. I advise you to visit the nearest metal health facility.
Why a blog, though? Well, twitter is too short, and facebook is just way too personal. I would like to retain some sense of anonymity, so that I can go off on any tangents I want, without risking public humiliation.